16 Comments

Very sad and very lovely Julian. The eulogy is still behind a paywall, just by the way.

Your Dad sounds like he was a great person and a great father and very loved.

Expand full comment

Ah Aoife, thanks. Is the paywall back up? Shite. I'll have a word with them again.

Yeah, he was a terrific dad.

We should catch up soon; you're one of the friends I feel most guilty for neglecting. I hope you are well and happy; let's talk offline, soon.

Expand full comment

I'd love that.

Expand full comment

It has been over a year since I've lost mine, and yesterday I was thinking about it pretty heavily and couldn't shake it; when I got an email notification reading out the title of this post. Reading it has helped ease my mind a little about my own long drawn out grief.

I am incredibly sorry for your loss, and while I believe grief tends to be unending, I hope it loosens up on you soon and creates thousands of pieces of art with inside you.

Thank you for this post, it connected with me in many ways that I needed and didn't know.

Expand full comment

Thank you Lynn. I'm glad my words were useful to you in your own situation. Best of luck with your voyage across grief's stormy ocean. May you find a calm harbour at the end of it.

Expand full comment

A beautiful trilogy. I am very moved and glad to know someone like him graced this earth.

Expand full comment

Thank you. I'm glad I knew him. I'm glad he was my dad.

Expand full comment

The eulogy you gave was beautiful - reading it made me appreciate what an extraordinary man your father was. I too hope when I go out I can tell everyone I want them to smile, laugh, and have fun first and foremost, and have them follow through.

And good on you for taking care of yourself in such a time - exactly the right kind of way to handle this.

Lastly, welcome back! Looking forward to reading what comes next :)

Expand full comment

Thanks, Dexanth. I appreciate your kind words.

Expand full comment

Incredible! An inspiration. Thank you for sharing.

Expand full comment

Thanks Mark.

Expand full comment

Take care of yourself. There's no timeline to grief--it's different for everyone and every relationship. I'm glad you can take comfort in the people around you.

Expand full comment

Lovely eulogy Julian, wonderful that your grandmother had the strength to keep him with her at those times when having a baby outside marriage was such a disgrace. That gave him such a good start in life. Did he read The Egg and the Rock?

Expand full comment

What a stunning eulogy. Brought tears to my eyes. I loved reading that he saw the good in everyone. What a remarkable life he led. I know all too well how hard it is to lose one's dad, so I'm sending you all the very best from New York.

Expand full comment

Gonna listen to Toasted Heretic; bought a Rabbit & Bear book; your father’s eulogy was lovely. Curious what his reasons were for the no-alcohol thing

Expand full comment

Never met your dad Julian but feel I know a flavour of him from your description and humour. May he rest in peace. Lovely writing as always and great to see the band back together albeit in sad circumstances xM

Expand full comment